My Endometriosis Story

This one is going to be quite a lengthy read, so make yourself a cup of tea and get comfy.

You may have have seen a recent post of mine, A Gentle Routine to Pick You Up When You're Battling Endometriosis, so I thought I would do a follow up explaining my story.
When I was first diagnosed I didn't know anything about the condition so I want to raise awareness, educate, and talk about my experiences so far. Additionally, I'm hoping this helps any one else going through the same battle or anyone who's curious to know what the laparoscopy is like.

I was going to do a sit down chatty video, but I tend to find it easier to pour my heart and soul into writing. I feel like I'm not a natural talker, I can't seem to articulate my points across well. However, with writing I can. The struggles of an Introvert eh. 

I'll start by briefly explaining what endometriosis is. (If you want a detailed summary, click here)

Endometriosis is a painful condition where tissue grows outside of the womb, it can appear in many different places including the ovaries, fallopian tubes, inside the tummy, around the bladder or bowel. Month after month, the tissue doesn't shred and leave the body properly, it builds up and causes an endless amount of pain, heavy periods, bloating and can cause problems with infertility. It's a long-term condition and sadly there is no cure for it. However there are hormone medications, pain relief medication or you can have a laparoscopy performed which will help ease pain and other symptoms for a while. As there is sadly no cure, the tissue will start growing again and repeated surgeries may be needed in the future.

Endometriosis depends from person to person but the main symptoms to look out for are painful heavy periods, lower back pain, pain during sex and bleeding in between periods. It's really hard to diagnose and so hard to figure out whether you have it or not, so I would advise all ladies to keep track of your periods and write down anything unusual happening. There are tons of apps you can download to keep track.

Flashback to 2014 where I was in severe amounts of pain on almost a daily basis, dealing with insomnia and being physically sick a couple of times each month.
There was one day in particular that really stood out to me and identified the problem.
I woke up in a huge amount of discomfort and pain, I had a sharp jabbing pain in my stomach and I felt really light-headed. I waited around twenty minutes for it to ease and then managed to roll myself out of bed. I started getting ready for work and then I collapsed on the floor and was viciously sick a couple of times (such a lovely sight I know). My body just went into shutdown mode, I couldn't move for about an hour and I was screaming in pain.
Luckily Joe was still at home and he came rushing through into the bedroom to help (he was an absolute hero cleaning up the mess and holding my hair back when I needed to be sick, such a babe lol). He insisted that I didn't go into work and also called my doctors to make an emergency appointment. 

At this point I was dreading going to my doctors. I previously spoke about my symptoms over the years and got told my periods were normal, it could be constipation or IBS, so I gave up complaining about it and just accepted this was normal.
After speaking to a doctor I hadn't seen before, I explained my symptoms and she thought it could be endometriosis.  So having someone take me seriously was a huge sigh of relief.

From that day, she referred me to see a specialist. I went for a few appointments and then I was referred to the hospital were they suggested I should have a laparoscopy (key hole surgery), as the only way to truly identify endometriosis is to have an operation. Once identified, the surgeon will either cut or burn away the endometriosis with a fancy laser.

Before going ahead with the operation, I had an ultrasound and I was told everything looked fine, normal and that I didn't have endometriosis. But I didn't feel ok, why was in so much agony all the time? I remember coming home confused and in tears not knowing what to do. Thoughts flooding through my mind, should I cancel my operation? What if I have the operation and they don't find anything? Maybe this is normal and I should just suck it up.

I just knew something wasn't right, the pain and periods were NOT normal, so I decided to go ahead with the operation back in early 2015, and I'm really glad I did.

Usually with a laparoscopy, you have the operation and then you leave the hospital the same day. My operation was said to be severe, I had complications during surgery so I spent four days in hospital. It was awful, I was in so much pain, I had drains attached either side and I had to ring a bell to have a nurse walk to the toilet with me, so humiliating.
Once I was discharged, it took me three weeks to to get back to normal duties and six weeks to fully recover and exercise again. Whilst recovering, I was on a course of co-codomol for the pain and experienced heavy bleeding for three weeks (TMI sorry).

I had a follow up appointment at the hospital six weeks later and I remember it being quite an emotional one. I was told that I have stage four endometriosis related to the bowel, they told me what they had operated on and that it will be highly unlikely that I can have children after the age of 30. I was 25 at the time and just burst into tears.  I didn't want the option taken away from me. I felt a huge amount of pressure to have children at such a young age, yes Joe and I have been together a long time (four years by this point) but we just weren't ready. 

Since then, I have been on various types of contraceptive pills. Finding a pill was quite tricky for me as it needed to be a norethisterone pill (used for hormone replacement therapy, and in the treatment of gynecological conditions) and one that doesn't cause problems with cluster headaches and migraines as I'm a suffer of those. Micronor was the one I was finally happy with. 

Whilst being on the pill I experienced the usual bloating and pain, however less severe to what I had before. The good side to being on a norethisterone pill was that it had stopped the heavy bleeding, for a change I was having light but still irregular periods and I was ok with that.

Over time the bloating was really getting me down, my hormones were all over the place and after reading horror stories about contraceptive pills I decided to stop taking it all together.

Since coming off the pill, my endometriosis has been a nightmare. There hasn't been a day gone by where I haven't felt uncomfortable, in pain or bloated. The sickness came back too.
A few months ago I was being sick every single morning for about three weeks and I didn't understand why. I knew it definitely wasn't morning sickness, so I thought maybe it was the nightly pills I had been taking for my migraines or maybe I was just feeling really anxious. Wrong, the endometriosis devil was back in full swing.

I booked a doctors appointment and she suggested referring me to see a specialist again. After a few more hospital appointments and blood tests, I was booked in for another laparoscopy.
I was a bit skeptical of having this done again after being told last time that if they were to operate on me again it would cause more problems than good, but the surgeon insisted this would be the best course of action as there will have been built up scar tissue and it's possible that my endometriosis causing the pain and sickness has returned and needs to be removed.

I went ahead with my second operation at the end of July and to my surprise it was severe again. I had two endometrioma cysts on each of my ovaries, on my right I had a cyst the size of a mango (how cray), the other side was a lot smaller, I had the majority of the scar tissue and endometriosis removed and they identified adhesions stuck to my bowel which they didn't remove as it was difficult. I stayed in hospital for three days, and was so happy to return home to fully recover for two weeks. When I was discharged, they gave me a course of painkillers and injections that I needed to do for seven days.

I was also booked in to have an ultrasound but weirdly they booked this after my laparoscopy. To be honest, I'm glad they made a mistake with this because from experience I found the ultrasound to be unreliable anyway.
As of now, I'm awaiting for a letter to see the specialist again in six-eight weeks time to go over the details of my operation and what to do next.

While I was in hospital, my surgeon mentioned that he wanted to operate on me again in a few months time, however I'm still deciding whether I want to go ahead so soon after.

So that's my endometriosis story to date. If you're interested I can do an updated version in a couple months time to keep you guys in the loop.

(Laparoscopy recovery after nine days - took bandages off belly button and left hand side incisions, however kept the bikini line incision bandage on for longer as it was still painful. The bruise on my right hand side was caused by doing an injection wrong... whoops).

From my experience it can take years to be diagnosed which is incredibly frustrating. If you've had an ultrasound and have been told everything is fine, don't trust it and keep pushing for them to identify the problem.
I've done a bit of research and a lot of people have experienced negative ultrasounds which has put people off going for a laparoscopy. I personally think that's awful that an ultrasound can't accurately see what's going on and is sending out confusing messages to endometriosis sufferers.
The only way of knowing if you have endometriosis for sure is to have a laparoscopy, which I strongly advise getting as it puts your mind at rest and the condition is officially identified.

I hope this was somewhat helpful to at least one person! If you have any questions, want to private message me or are going through something similar do get in touch :).

Let's get social. Follow me on Instagram: @zoeyoliviablog to see what I get up to daily. You can also reach me on twitter: @zoeyoliviablog. Or, if you like Bloglovin', I'm kind of new to it but follow me on there.

A Gentle Routine to Pick You Up When You're Battling Endometriosis

I haven't spoken much about my endometriosis battles, however, as I type this I'm currently lying down in a hospital bed and feeling pretty crappy after having my second laparoscopy operation. I've been stuck here for three days with two drains attached on each side, looking like a corpse, unable to walk properly and in endless amounts of pain.
I'm just itching to go back home and get a good night's sleep.

By the time this goes up, I'll be on the mend and I'm certain I'll be in much brighter spirits.

I haven't seen many people discuss endometriosis on blogs, however there has been an increased awareness of the condition since Lena Dunham and singer Halsey spoke up about it this year. I am so glad to see endometriosis in the spotlight and I hope this allows more women to find the care and treatment they need to manage their symptoms, as well as a general wider understanding to those who haven't heard of the condition before.

For me, it's still a raw and sensitive subject to discuss as there are a lot of unanswered questions about infertility, dealing with the years of deliberating pain, not being taken seriously and simply feeling like this is the norm. It's an emotional topic and it has been a blooming emotional rollercoaster over the past 8 or so years.

I'll give you a bit of a brief back story, it took me roughly five years to be diagnosed. After my first operation back in early 2015 the pain that had been haunting me was indeed endometriosis. I have stage four, which is classed as severe endometriosis as well as effecting the bowels too.

Endometriosis sadly runs in my family, my auntie was first diagnosed with it many many years ago and she is unable to have children because of it. I have been pre-warned that having stage four will cause complications for when I want to try and it may be unlikely that I can have children too. Jeez, that was super personal for me to share, I'm getting a little bit flustered ha.

Anyway, I've been thinking of little things to pick me up again for when I return home! Here are a few of my go-to's, a gentle routine that instantly makes me feel a lot better. If you're dealing with endo pain or the emotional straits, I hope this routine will help ease symptoms and make you feel better too.

Pots of tea.️ 
An instant mood booster is a lovely warming cup of tea. Camomile tea is great for soothing inflammation and makes you feel more calm. Peppermint and green tea are also amazing, they work wonders for soothing pains.

Enjoy a nice hot bubble bath.
There is nothing better than sliding into a hot, soothing bath to relieve the aches and pains of endometriosis. If I'm having a bad endo day, I like to treat myself to some Aromatherapy Associates oils, a favourite of mine is Inner Strength, or if I want something fun, I'll pop a Lush bath bomb in surrounded by candles in the dark. Honestly nothing beats this. 

If you're struggling to move from your bed or are recovering from a laparoscopy operation, a hot water bottle will be your best friend for awhile. You can still have a nice steaming hot shower and soak your skin in some fancy oils afterwards. Alternatively treat yourself to a lovely little foot bath!

Pamper yourself.
Treat yourself to a face-mask and go and paint your nails to brighten your mood!
Or why not splurge and treat yourself to a spa break get-away for the ultimate relaxation. I'm laying here dreaming of a spa right now, once I'm fully recovered from my operation I know where I'm heading.

Netflix and chill.
Getting lost in a good old tv series will take your mind of things. Suits is an easy watch and Harvey is always nice to perve over (Sorry Joe). I also recommended watching Homeland, The Originals, Stranger Things and House of Cards, I'm hooked on all four at the moment.

Let it out.
It's ok to be upset and have a little cry. Endometriosis is hard to deal with and it's ok if you want to stay in a foetal position and have a good old cry. Letting it all out is better than keeping your emotions locked in, trust me on this one.

Candles. 
There is something that feels so lovely and calming about lighting scented candles. A warming glow that will simply lift your mood when you're having a tough day. Diptyque's Baies is my go to that I know will instantly cheer me up. It feels like such a treat when I burn this.

Disconnect and read.
Whilst recovering, I have been reading Marie Kondo's the life changing magic of tidying again. But I'm dying to go home and escape in some fantasy stories. I'm thinking of re-reading the Harry Potter series.
Bloglovin' has also been a major distraction, I've been loving reading blogs and getting inspired for mine along the way.

Allow Yourself Time to heal. 
Give yourself time to heal and give yourself permission to be sick. 

We live in a hectic society and most of us don’t take enough time to settle down and rejuvenate our bodies and our spirits. When we get sick, we feel guilty if we need to stop running around, or if we have to say no or cancel obligations, but taking a break to heal is essential and you deserve this down time. 

Don't close yourself off. 

The worst thing you can do is shut yourself off and not talk to anyone about this.
I have the most incredible and supportive husband, the best family and friends and an amazing social media family who have been keeping me in brighter spirits and generally sane.
I've been trying to keep active on social media, mainly on Instagram with how I'm feeling and I feel that it has helped me cope with the situation instead of keeping everything locked away and hidden. If you're more of a private person, perhaps write your thoughts and feelings in a diary. 

Have a movie marathon. 

Snuggle up under a cosy blanket and stick on a few easy going films. What's better than watching the whole Harry Potter series or some Disney films to cheer you up. If you have Netflix, Cinderella and Jurassic World are good ones to watch! Or if you fancy a bit more action, The Avengers films are classics.

I hope my gentle routine help's to pick you up and lifts your spirits. If anyone else is struggling and wants to talk about endometriosis, please leave a comment below or private message me. Additionally if you want to hear more about how I deal with it daily or what my second laparoscopy was like, then I will do another post in the near future. Remember to try and stay positive, I know it's hard and easier said than done, but you're not alone and there is an amazing community out there. 

Zoey x

Follow me on Instagram: @zoeyoliviablog to see what I get up to daily. You can also reach me on twitter: @zoeyoliviablog. Or, if you like Bloglovin', I'm kind of new to it but follow me on there.

It's ok to not be ok...

It's really early in the morning and I can't sleep. I've got a lot on my mind that I'm just bursting to write about but I know I can't. What I will talk about is to remind everyone that it's ok to not be ok.

In this rollercoaster so-called life, we deal with many situations, some good, some bad. And sometimes health gets in the way and is a real pain in the ass. But what can we do? Ignore it. I try to... and have done for years. And, I tell you what, it's the biggest mistake I made.

Some of you may know I suffer with endometriosis, I think I've spoken about it once or twice on here. And some of you may also know I suffer with migraines and cluster headaches.

If you're unsure what any of those are, I'm not going to bore you with the details but feel free to google them.

Ok, so you may or may have not googled... As you can imagine, I deal with a lot of pain every single day of my life, and I put that aside because I don't like talking about it, it makes me severally upset. I mean, imagine wakeing up in pain every single day? To some extent where you can't move (endometriosis) or where you feel like banging your head against a wall until the migraine is physically removed from your head.

Well now I talk about something serious that happened to me... So, I was going through a very stressful period of my life, I had a wedding to plan (supposed to be the biggest life changing moment in your life), I had an extremely busy day job and I had my blog to run. And, I guess I was just under a huge amount of pressure, which I'm going to refrain from talking about for now.
And... well, I usually deal with work well. I'm a perfectionist and I work hard, I always have done. But it just all got too much.

I suppose you could say, I work hard so I don't have to think about my problems. Working hard and accomplishing things made me feel good about myself. But in reality it was taking a toll on my health. I was working 9 till 5:30 (sometimes later) with a thirty minute lunch break, I'd then quickly eat dinner then work till the late hours on my blog, freelance work or the wedding. And I'd work all day at the weekends. I didn't stop. I was like a machine. And look where that got me...

I booked an emergency doctors appointment and they took my blood pressure, I was 158! 158! At the time, I didn't think much of it. But my doctor looked at me in real concern. Boy was I in trouble... Anyway, there was no question about it, she signed me off straight away. But of course I refused at first... Not being able to work is my ideal of hell.

I then went home, googled 158 blood pressure... "140-160" Hypertension or something, on the verge of having a stroke or heart attack. I literally didn't know what to do. I stared at the screen thinking in my head, "are you actually serious lol." And then it hit me, if I carried on at the rate I was going, I could of died. I literally could of died. I know I'm being a bit dramatic here. But imagine how that feels like?

Since then, I have been resting, and I'm back on my old friend, Co-codomol... But there's only so much rest you can do when you're also planning a wedding.

I feel ok now but my heart rate still doesn't feel good.  And, I am dreading going back to the doctors incase she tells me off again for not looking after myself and taking it easy.

What I will say is, if you're going through something similar, stress headaches, migraines, cluster headaches or endometriosis, or maybe you're dealing with anxiety or depression. Please stay strong, you're not alone. There are people out there who will help you.
And, if you do experience your heart rate going a bit awol, please go and see a doctor. As they have your best interests at heart.

For me, the best way for me to deal with these happenings, is to write. Writing helps. It really does, it's therapeutic, and it gets off my chest. Also baths help, and exercise too.

So, I just want to say again, it's ok to not be ok. You are important and please look after yourselves. You're not alone. And please don't make the mistake that I did.

Love, Zoey